A Word of Caution about Writing and Healing

Some of the writing ideas I've put up on this site have to do with writing about difficult or painful experiences. Though research has shown that this kind of writing can, over the long haul, be healing, research has also shown that, in the immediate aftermath, writing of this sort can sometimes feel painful.

On his website, James Pennebaker, one of the chief researchers in the field of writing and health, offers this advice, which applies in particular to writing that deals with upsetting experiences:

Many people report that after writing, they sometimes feel somewhat sad or depressed. Like seeing a sad movie, this typically goes away in a couple of hours. If you find that you are getting extremely upset about a writing topic, simply stop writing or change topics.

I think this is sound advice. Some people may wonder: how upset is too upset? For me, an analogy to yoga is sometimes helpful here. I once had a yoga teacher tell us that when working on a new pose it’s prudent to stretch just a bit beyond where one has been before—stretching into that “good” and bearable kind of soreness—and holding that stretch for ten seconds, fifteen seconds, twenty seconds—but not stretching into frank pain. Stretching that is too painful can cause a kind of rebound effect: it hurts so much the next day that you may never want to go back to the class or ever think about yoga again. Writing can be like that. Writing that becomes too painful can make us want to shy away from the process.

So, just a bit of a stretch—a bearable stretch.

I also think it’s helpful to remember lifelines—those things that reconnect us to a sense of safety and comfort and belonging. And then we can call on those lifelines when we need them—when we, for instance, stretch ourselves a little farther than we intended to stretch. A healing place can be a lifeline. A healing resource can be a lifeline. Healing language. A friend. A counselor. A doctor. A teacher. A nurse. . . .

Perhaps one of the most important things to know about healing grief--whether one is writing or not--is to recognize when one has become overwhelmed by grief--when the feelings have become too much--and then to ask for help. And not to hesitate to ask for this help from a health professional.

Comments

[peter]

my own experince with writing has been to very dark places and into states of psychosis which can leave me just a shell only barely able to function. yet, even though i know the dangers i still have to write as therapy for healing and to maintain mental well-being. I hope that by practice one day i may find the secret to write from the centre with balance.

Or is the path for some artists and the mad to always be in states of destruction, desolate darkness, kicking at the extremities of our humaness because they can?

Thanks for your very illuminating Blog.

[Diane]

Hi Peter,

I don't do much with comments anymore as the blog has been dormant for a while, but wanted to say that I think the secret is to find a good teacher or therapist if you can--so you're not doing it alone. And to persist. I think writing can bring darkness into the light--and then well there's just more light.

All best with everything.

Diane

[Diane Morrow]

I'm commenting again because I just stumbled across my own comment and I feel like it sounds too glib. I didn't intend to be glib but that's how it sounds to me now. I forgot to honor Peter's courage. So I want to honor Peter's courage for writing into the darkness and also honor those many others who do the same and simply wish them well on the journey--good company--solace--hope--all those things.

Thank you,
Diane Morrow